Idiots' letters to Newsday 2

Uh oh! Our first isolationist moron decided to write to Newsday to complain that no one helps the big ol’ America when we’re in trouble, but we’re the first to respond when another nation needs help:

When a tsunami strikes in Southeast Asia, the United States is one of the first countries to offer aid. When an earthquake hits in the Mideast, the United States is one of the first countries to offer aid. When a typhoon devastates a far-off country, the United States is one of the first to offer aid.

Now a terrible natural disaster has hit our country. Where is the outpouring of aid from other countries?

Robert L. Sass

Brilliant.

Mr. Sass, I think the important question to ask is, “Where was the United States when the people in three states were devastated by Katrina?” But in response to your blind accusations, maybe if you checked, you’d see that several nations were offering aid, and Canada had attempted to offer aid before our own National Guard was finally on the scene. There were rumors to the effect that US officials denied entry to these Canadians, since we obviously could handle it all ourselves. Said our brave president:

I’m not expecting much from foreign nations because we hadn’t asked for it. I do expect a lot of sympathy and perhaps some will send cash dollars. But this country’s going to rise up and take care of it.

Now that our wonderful secretary of state has returned from her shopping spree in NYC, our government is actually considering foreign assistance, but why these other nations want to help foreign-hating xenophobes like Robert Sass is beyond me.

P.S. That far-off country getting hit by a typhoon is spelled C-H-I-N-A.

Posted by Jonathan at 12:18 AM, 03 September 2005


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