Creative Pressures

It took nearly 4 months for an unofficial response to Fickled Pink by my former manager, Suzanne. I believe that the more popular search engines are now listing my site in reference to the company name, “Pinkhaus.”

Initially, as I wrote the essay, I wondered how coy I should be in presenting the parties named. I was going to change the names to protect the innocent, but then I concluded that no innocent parties were involved. This was my story about my life, written with my voice.

Should I have included a disclaimer stating that the essay was written with bias and makes me look better and the others tarnished from the bright light that is the whole truth? Duh. This is my blog. Let them tell their side of the story on their site. It should be readily apparent by any and all onlookers to my site, and that particular essay, that I am quite the slacker. I could have tried harder to keep my job. In fact, it was financially foolish not to try. I am a stubborn, pigheaded person. I believe this is readily apparent in my writing.

So was I surprised by the response that Suzanne sent to me, one weekend, out of the blue? Well, yes and no. Yes, but only because of the timing of it? Why not weeks before or a year later? What made her read that particular piece then? As noted, I assume it was because she did a keyword search, and was surprised to find my web address. Why do a keyword search for her own company? Because they have just undertaken a restructuring of their website. The beginning of that restructuring was noted in “Fickled Pink” towards the end of my narrative. They’ve been working on it for a while now. And, no, because they all tended to be a sensitive bunch. I figured once they got wind of it, I’d hear from them.

Suzanne was mostly kind in her initial email. She told me that she was on my side, despite having to let me go, which I mostly believe. She told me that Carlos had left, but I knew this was to the detriment of Pinkhaus, because, despite his character flaws, he is extremely talented. Now he’s just competition. There was an odd undertone to the email, which I ignored until I read a follow up email from Suzanne sent 2.5 hours after the first, where she asks me to call her and consider removing “Fickled Pink” from my site.

The odd undertone turned out to be either a heated discussion with various powers at Pinkhaus before the first letter was sent, or her own building unease.

She was polite, for sure. She didn’t demand that the article be taken down immediately. She didn’t threaten. She just wanted to discuss this with me.

I am truly a slacker. I have yet to respond directly to Suzanne. This entry is, in effect, my answer. No, I will not take it down, but feel free to believe that I will lose interest in my site soon enough and it will be taken down through attrition. Even though I don’t expect this to happen, my track record is apparent in this regard.

But there is something else. This web-shit is amazing. I mean, who the hell am I? I’m just a poor bastard shacking up with friends and relatives because I can’t hold down a job or a relationship. Pinkhaus is a dynamic design company with over 35 years of experience and success. If Suzanne, or anyone else from the company, never responded, I would just assume that they never came across it, or, even if they did, they just didn’t care about it. That is, by all rights, the way it should be. I, and my opinions, mean nothing to them.

Except that anyone, anywhere, can read “Fickled Pink” and come up with a negative opinion of my previous employer. That sucks, doesn’t it? And in this way, do little fish get to stick barbs that tangle up the bigger fish? Thought provoking.

I noticed this too, with my little bit about Bill Maher and Politically Incorrect (PI) getting canceled. This piece has garnered the most comments, and I personally knew only one of the people who did respond. Across the nation, perhaps the world, people searched for news on PI and found my site. A half-a-dozen decided to let their voice be heard on my site. Not a major thing, but I am nobody! It thrills me beyond compare.

I bet that is not what Suzanne thought my reaction would be. And maybe it shouldn’t be, and maybe it won’t be if they press the matter further, but for now I’m more than happy to ignore their request.

Posted by Jonathan at 01:13 AM, 11 July 2002


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